Duck on the Water

Yes another blog! Although I will admit this is most definitely time I should be using to finish homework, I just couldn't resist. School right now can only be described in one word, and that word would be .... Ridiculous. It's only the 2nd week, how is the possible? My high school teachers weren't lying when they said professors wouldn't baby us, it's true, it's far from pleasant. Yet with all the craziness I couldn't feel more at peace with life right now. It is well with my soul. Or is it?

Michael and I were at Waxahachie Lake this past weekend doing homework...well Michael was doing homework, I was sleeping. Typical. When I woke up I noticed a group of cute little ducks swimming close to bank just right in front of us. I took notice as they gracefully floated on top of the water. They were beautiful. Honestly, I could't stop watching them. It was a little windy outside so the water had a slight wave to it and when a wave would come, the ducks would just glide right along with the wave, almost as if they weren't affected at all. It was so interesting. They were just so calm, so peaceful. But one thing I know about ducks is that although they look calm on top of the water, their feet are constantly moving. It's how they float! They look so calm, but underneath they are doing everything they can to say a float, kicking their webbed feet as fast as they can go!

After some thinking, this reminded me of myself. Yes, I said it, I AM A DUCK! Sometimes I find myself trying to look so ''put together'', so calm and content, when in reality, my feet are kicking as hard as they can under water just so I don't sink.

I've let this thought bounce around in my head most of the week and tried to figure out areas that I feel confidences in and areas that make me nervous that I sometimes try to ignore.

CONFIDENCES

Where I go to school

Michael Bell

Being a SAGU cheerleader

My job

My degree

 CRAZY

Having to become an online student after this semester

Marriage (very excited that it's Michael, but some parts are scary)

Having to leave all my sweet cheer sisters

Not having a job in 4 months

Should I go to grad school? Where? How much does it cost?

The amount of school work I have

See what I mean. Life is crazy sometimes. It certainly messy a lot more than it is neat. I actually wrote down a similar list of confidences and crazies in my journal during my quiet time the other day and after praying over them and asking God for wisdom and contentment in all areas I felt God say, ''Take your list, mark out everything, tear it up, step on it, scribble on it, throw it away! 

Well that was a waste of paper.... 

Then God dropped a verse in my heart. One that I have known forever, but always tend to forget. 

''My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.'' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work though me. 

                                                                                             2 Corinthians 12:9


How powerful is that? What an awesome display of who God is. A man who loved the world enough that he gave his Son to take my list of confidences and crazies. God knew I would be a little duck. Frankly, I think a lot of people are. He knew I would have times in my life when I was trying to look cool, calm and collected but inside, I really need him to help me out. His grace is all I need. His grace is enough!

So I will boast in my weakness.

I’m going to have to be a completely distance education student after this semester, but God’s grace is enough.

I’m sometimes nervous about marriage, it’s new, it’s scary, it’s a huge change but I love Michael Bell with all my heart and God’s grace is enough

I get sad anytime I think about leaving all my amazing friends on the SAGU cheer team, but God’s grace is enough.

I’m worried about moving to Austin in 4 months and not having any idea where I’ll work, but God’s grace is enough.

I have no idea if I want to go to grad school, I’d love to go, but I’m not sure where or if I could even afford it, but God’s grace is enough.

I am constantly reading, studying, or doing homework and this semester might kill me, but God’s grace is enough.

Catch my drift? I am choosing to speak GRACE over things I deal with under the water. His grace is always enough for me in any situation, and you too!

Get in the Wheelbarrow.

I knew creating this blog in May 2012 was a good idea. I knew insight would strike. I just knew it. So here it is to make its debut, my first blog post!! (insert roaring crowd here) 

I was laying awake with my mind full of thought, which unfortunately is not uncommon for me at all. At least 5 nights out of the week I have to tell my brain to shut off and go to bed. Typical college lifestyle I guess. But tonight was a little different, unlike most nights where my brain is filled with what the next day holds, or what detail I need to accomplish for my upcoming wedding, tonight I was thinking about other people. Who knew I could be so caring? I was thinking about a certain situation where someone important to me is questioning their faith in Jesus, wondering if He'll come though or if they should just give up and they are simply frustrated with life as they know it. We've all been there, down in the dumps, not sure of who we are, not sure of the next step to take, not sure if the next step should be off a bridge without bungee cords. Undoubtedly and unfortunately, we all have these moments. But WHY? 

That's the question I asked myself tonight. Why do I occasionally doubt God? Why me? A Bible reading, journaling, church going, bible school attending Christian doubt God? Why does my friend doubt? Why do you doubt? 

Then I remembered a cool story. The story is about a man named Charles Blondin. 

Blondin's greatest fame came in June of 1859 when he became the first tightrope walker to ever walk the quarter mile across Niagara Falls. 
He walked 160 feet above the falls several times, each time with a different daring attempt- once in a sack, on a bicycle, in the dark, and once he even carried a stove and cooked an omelet! 

One particular time, a large crowd gathered along both sides of the river and people began buzzing about him ''Oohh-ing'' and ''Aahhh-ing'' about Blondin's latest stunt, this time he carefully made his tightrope walk blindfolded, pushing a wheelbarrow. 
After reaching the other side the crowd's applause was louder than the roar of the falls! They were amazed! How could someone do such a thing?! 
Then, Blondin stopped to address his audience, ''Do you believe I can carry a person across in this wheelbarrow?'' 
The crowd enthusiastically shouted, ''Yes yes yes!! You are the greatest tightrope walker in the world. You can do anything!''

''Okay'', said Blondin, ''Then someone get in the wheelbarrow....''


As you can guess, no one wanted to get in the wheelbarrow. They would have to be crazy right? I mean seriously, I don't care how good someone is, who cares if they made breakfast while walking on one small rope 160 feet above deadly water. Shoot, no way i'd get in there! I don't have enough faith in anyone to risk my life like that. 

Do you get it? Incase you aren't picking up on my sarcasm, I'm trying to make a point here. I'll give you a break since it's my first blog post.

My response, and the response of the crowd reminds me of my friend I was thinking about tonight and of so many others, myself included. 

Too many of us live in a constant hypocritical state that we can't seem to shake. Yes, we know God can do great things, we hear about the awesome things God can do in church every Sunday. He turned water into wine, he fed 5,000 with a few fish and some bread- we know these stories. We say, God did, instead of saying, God DOES. 

We stand on the side of the river with our giant foam fingers and we cheer about how great our God is and we get excited when someone tells us about how He's done something in their life but when someone asks us to take a step of faith, we don't react. 
What would happen if you got in that wheelbarrow with Blondin? I can say you would most likely be just fine. I mean the man made an omelet while walking 160 ft in the air for goodness sake! But honestly, what would happen if we took more steps of faith? What would happen if we could trade in our ''doubt'' card with a ''faith in who God is'' card?


This year I want to shed my ideas about who God is, or who I thought He was. I want a new perspective. I want to believe with all my heart that God WILL do something big in my life. I'm trading in ''did for does''. 

So what do you say? Will you get in the wheelbarrow?

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.

-Matthew 21:21